This summer has been a challenging time for our family. I lost my mom, and my husband lost both parents, all within a 7-week timeframe. We are fortunate that they all lived long (somewhat) healthy lives and that they were around to celebrate wonderful milestones and see their great-grandchildren. While we didn’t know that the summer would unfold quite this way, we had taken steps years ago to make this difficult time somewhat more bearable.
In the hope that you can learn from our experience, I thought I would share the actions we took that turned out to be extremely helpful:
We had our parents update their estate documents within the last 5 years and knew the location of their original documents. In most counties, you are required to file an ORIGINAL copy of the will with the county clerk, probate court, or “register of wills”. It is crucial to know where the original will is stored. You also want to know the provisions of the accompanying trust. You will need to provide a copy of all documents to an estate administration attorney.
The most impactful changes we made were to be named as co-trustees on our parents’ trusts. I was a co-trustee for my mom, and my husband and brother-in-law were co-trustees for my in-laws. Again, we did this years ago, so we have each been able to help our parents as health issues made taking care of everyday finances an issue. When our parents passed away, we didn’t skip a beat in terms of having access to their funds to pay all the various bills. The other possibility is that we could have been named as successor trustees, but then we would have had to wait for the death certificates and then for the custodian to accept the change, and it could easily take a couple of weeks before you can access funds. Note, you do not want to add a co-trustee lightly, as that person has full access to any trust accounts.
We had a complete list of all assets, where they were held, and the account numbers. All taxable assets (including checking and savings accounts) were titled in the name of their trusts. IRA accounts had beneficiaries designated.
All of our parents’ assets, except for their checking accounts, were managed by our firm, which has made the estate process significantly easier. Our firm has handled much of the paperwork.
We made sure all real estate was titled in their trusts. This will help to avoid probate.
For both sets of parents, we had moved the contents of their safe deposit boxes to other safe places that we could access. A banker told me that it was a very smart move as it’s a cumbersome process to gain access to a decedent’s safe deposit box, even if you are a signatory (however, it is easier if your name is on the rental agreement).
We knew all their arrangements and who to call. It’s important to know if funerals and cemetery plots have been prepaid and who to contact.
While those steps went smoothly, there were some things I wish I had asked:
Fortunately, I had the passcode to my mom’s iPhone (super helpful!) and her Apple ID, but I didn’t have all her passwords. That has proven to be a stumbling block.
It took a while to figure out all my mom’s bills and what was set up on autopay. A list would have saved a lot of time. Putting accounts on autopay earlier would have been even better.
I wish I knew the stories behind some keepsakes and if any of her belongings have value. A little documentation about her belongings would answer a lot of questions I have now.
In total, I think we did a good job preparing for this time, and it has made the task of handling three estates a little easier. I am grateful that our firm has the resources and expertise to help us manage everything that is involved.
I mentioned in my title that there was also a family wedding during this time frame. Being able to celebrate a wedding in the midst of loss was a reminder that life is never just one thing, that endings and beginnings can coexist, and that we can cherish every moment and appreciate the people who support us. If you would like help organizing a family member’s estate, please reach out to our team.
Disclosure:
Marcie Nach is an employee of Strategic Wealth Partners and her perspective reflects her personal experience as both an employee and client of Strategic Wealth Partners.
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